Archive for March, 2006

March 23rd, 2006
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Two nuns went out of their convent to sell cookies. One is known as Sister Mathematical and the other as Sister Logical. It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
Sister Logical: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
Sister Mathematical: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
Sister Logical: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.
Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
Sister Mathematical: It’s not working.
Sister Logical: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.
Sister Mathematical: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
Sister Logical: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go the this way. He cannot follows us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then, Sister Logical arrives.
Sister Mathematical: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me.
Sister Mathematical: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
Sister Mathematical: And?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
Sister Mathematical: Oh, dear! What did you do?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
Sister Mathematical: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! What happened then?
Sister Logical: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

wyldrob PG-13 Jokes

March 23rd, 2006
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Two nuns are out driving when a vampire drops onto the bonnet of their car. “Quick sister,” screams one nun, “Show him your cross!” So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, “Oi! You! Fuck off!”

wyldrob PG-13 Jokes

March 21st, 2006
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Two gay men decided to have a baby. They mixed their sperm and had a surrogate artificially inseminated. After the baby was born, they went to the hospital newborn ward. There was a dozen babies, eleven crying but only one smiling serenely. They were overjoyed when a nurse told them the happy child was theirs. “Isn’t that wonderful?” said one to the other. “All those unhappy children, but ours is happy.” The nurse said, “Oh, sure, he’s happy now. But just wait until I remove that pacifier from his butt!”

wyldrob PG-13 Jokes

March 21st, 2006

I was listening to Larry the Cable Guy the other day as he talked about his nephew who’s gotten into trouble. Seems
he, like so many of his contemporaries lately, has been having sex with his teacher.
“The problem is,” Larry says, “he’s home-schooled.”

wyldrob Adult Jokes

March 17th, 2006
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Young Jimmy was taking confession when he told the priest that he was having impure thoughts about his sister. “Is this a sin, Father” he asked.
The priest nodded and said, “Yes Jimmy, indeed it is a sin. Look at the two beautiful brothers you have.”

wyldrob Adult Jokes

March 15th, 2006

The teacher was discussing different jobs held by the parents of the students.
When she called on little Johnny, she asked, “And what does your father do?”
“Oh, he’s a magician.” replied Johnny.
“Really? And what’s his best trick?”
“His best trick is sawing people in half.”
“Wonderful!,” exclaimed the teacher. “Tell me, are there any more children in your family?”"
“Yes ma’am, I have a half brother and two half sisters.”

wyldrob G Jokes

Getting Back to Normal

March 13th, 2006
: : : Currently listening to: Alan Jackson – Midnight In Montgomery : : :

Well I am slowly getting everything back to normal after my disk crash on 3 March. I was unable to restore from backup since the following week both of my domain controllers decided to bite the dust as well. I am still trying to figure out wtf happened, but have yet to do so. I might have done something, but I have no clue what! Do you know how fun it is to try to rebuild three machines at once? That’s what I spend the end of last week doing. But luckily most everything is back to normal. At least I can retrieve files from my backup if need be, and that has been helpful.
Nothing else really exciting has happened. I’ll write more if it does!

wyldrob personal

March 10th, 2006

To the tune of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
By the ugly wanker that was lying by my side.
I would’ve drunk a little less, I would’ve tried to keep my head,
If I’d known for just one second I’d be in your crusty bed…
I tried to go, walk out the door.
But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I’ve fallen on the floor.
Your butt’s a pimply mess, it’s just a broken-out disgrace,
But I’d rather look at that, than at your fuckin’ ugly face..!
I want to go, I’ve got to leave.
Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave.
I only know I’ve got to stop my drinking spirits and the beer
Coz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like Richard Gere!
I can’t believe, that we both shagged.
You should be wearing concrete shoes or simply bound and gagged.
I’m fucking off right now, I’m jumping on the flippin’ train and I’m
not stopping till I’m home and washed your greeblies down the drain.
Please let me go, I feel quite sick,
We had the worst sex in the world and you’re an ugly little prick
I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, at least he’s got a lovely flat
But no I go and trust the booze and now I’m stuck with you, you twat.
It’s time to go, run out the door.
You look so ugly it should really be against the law.
I’m going to give up all the booze, I’m going to have no stupid fun,
Coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me want to be a nun!

wyldrob Uncategorized

March 8th, 2006

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep. He awoke before the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.” Ralph was stunned. “I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!” St. Peter said, “I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back: as a chicken.” Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. “So, you’re the new hen, eh? How’s your first day here?” “Not bad,” replied Ralph the hen, “but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!” “You’re ovulating,” explained the rooster. “Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before?” “Never,” said Ralph. “Well, just relax and let it happen.” Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg — his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, “Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You’re shitting the bed!”

wyldrob PG-13 Jokes

No Fun In This

March 4th, 2006

Well, I have no music and I have no desktop PC right now. I corrected my boot problems on the PC, but it messed up again and locked up. I then ran a scan on the drive and it fails, so that little baby is getting a replacement from WD. I am not having any luck with WD drives. I just hope the Seagate drive doesn’t do me like this. I know the Seagate warranties are much better – 5 years on most drives vs 1 or 3 years with WD.
I guess I will have to use one of the servers or my laptop in the meantime. So I won’t have all my programs and such. So, if you ask for something, I might not have it readily available.
The good thing about this is that I *do* have backups! YAY! All data partitions are backed up nightly to the server, and once per week the system parition got backed up as well. Hopefully I’ll be able to rebuild the machine from this nice little disaster recover CD that the backup program creates and I’ll be on my way in no time. Wish me the best of luck!

wyldrob personal