Archive for December, 2005

You Gotta See This

December 18th, 2005
: : : Currently listening to: Hanson – Merry Christmas Baby : : :

You gotta see this. Jason posted it a few days ago. And yes I am listening to HANSON dammit! Here’s the link to Harry Potter’s Gay Of course you can put your comments here, since someone (who shall remain unnamed) forgot to set comments to “on”! LOL

wyldrob funny stuff

It’s That Time Of Year Again

December 18th, 2005
: : : Currently listening to: Montgomery Gentry – Merry Christmas From The Family : : :

Just a little bit of interesting trivia for this time of year. So far this month, the most hits from a search engine are people looking for the lyrics to the song that is currently playing. I do really enjoy it. I am not much into Country music, but I do like this one. It’s one of my favorite Christmas tunes. Here is the entry that has the lyrics. It’s kind of funny I think.
Right now, my house smells of cinnamon, because I’ve been making candy. I have made watermelon, strawberry, butterscotch, grape and of course cinnamon. I saved it for last so the house would smell of it. I love it!
Not much going on in the life of wyldrob for now. I am sure things will get interesting this week. There are lots of activities that are going on this week. Of course, I don’t know what over half of them are though! I am going to be off for Christmas and New Year’s! So it will be nice not to have to work. Jason’s birthday is also this week – on Wednesday for those of you who are lame as hell and can’t remember. I already have his gift, but I need to wrap it. I will do that sometime this week. Everyone needs to drop over to his site and wish him a happy birthday. I know he will appreciate it.
Well that’s it for now. And if I don’t write again before next weekend, Merry Christmas!

wyldrob personal

Little Johnny was in school

December 15th, 2005
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Little Johnny was in school one day when the teacher brought around cookies for snack time. “Here, Little Johnny, have a cookie.”
“I don’t fucking want one,” declared Johnny.
The teacher was shocked. She called Little Johnny’s mother and scheduled her to come in for a meeting the next day.
When Little Johnny’s mother arrived, the teacher had her hide behind the curtain until snack time came around.
As she came to Little Johnny, she again told him, “Here Little Johnny. It’s time for your cookie.”
“I don’t fucking want one,” stated Little Johnny again.
The teacher pulled aside the curtain and said to his mother, “See? Did you hear what he said?”
“So?” said his mother, “Don’t fucking give him one.”

wyldrob R Jokes

The following is a telephone

December 14th, 2005
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The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”
Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”
RS: “Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??”
G: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs.”
RS: “Ow July den?”
G: “What??”
RS: “Ow July den?…pryed, boyud, poochd?”
G: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.”
RS: “Ow July dee baykem? Crease?”
G: “Crisp will be fine.”
RS: “Hokay. An Sahn toes?”
G: “What?”
RS: “An toes. July Sahn toes?”
G: “I don’t think so.”
RS: “No? Judo wan sahn toes??”
G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”
RS: “Toes! toes!…Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?”
G: “English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine.Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”
RS: “We bodder?”
G: “No…just put the bodder on the side.”
RS: “Wad?”
G: “I mean butter…just put it on the side.”
RS: “Copy?”
G: “Excuse me?”
RS: “Copy…tea…meel?”
G: “Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.”
RS: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy….rye??”
G: “Whatever you say.”
RS: “Tenjewberrymuds.”
G: “You’re very welcome.”

wyldrob G Jokes

One day, a bushman went

December 14th, 2005
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One day, a bushman went walkabout and came upon a well. Curious about it, he peered inside but could not see the bottom. So he picked up a small stone and dropped it down the well. There was no sound. He then got a bigger stone and dropped it down the well. Again, no sound. Finally, he tried a huge stone, but still no sound. Spying a nearby log, he struggled until he managed to drop the huge log down the well, but there was still no sound. As he gave up, he saw a sheep charging him. He jumped out of the way just as the sheep flew past him and down the well. The puzzled bushman was trying to figure out what just happened when his buddy appeared. “Hey, mate! Did you see my sheep around here?” “No.” The other bushman said, “Well, he can’t have gone far, I had him tied to a log!”

wyldrob G Jokes

The soldiers were tired and

December 12th, 2005
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The soldiers were tired and lonely after weeks in enemy territory so the Major hired an erotic dancer from a nearby town. During her first number, she stripped down to her bra and g-string. As the dance ended, the soldiers went mad, clapping for five minutes. During her second number, she removed her top. The troops went mad again, clapping for ten minutes. For her third number, she stripped completely naked. The Major waited backstage, fully prepared to have to come onstage to quiet down the ruckus. But after her music ended, there was no applause at all. As she walked backstage, the Major asked, “What happened? Why was there no applause?” She replied with a grin, “Major, do you really expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?!”

wyldrob Adult Jokes

Peter met Sharon in a

December 8th, 2005
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Peter met Sharon in a nightclub. They hit it off and Sharon invited him to her place where they had an energetic and passionate session in bed. Finally, tired and satisfied, they both laid back and snuggled. After only moments, Sharon started stroking Peter’s manhood. Surprised but appreciative, Peter asked, “Surely you’re not ready for more already?” “No,” she replied, “but once in a while I get nostalgic for the days when I had mine!”

wyldrob Adult Jokes

Evan was so excited about

December 8th, 2005
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Evan was so excited about his first day at his new school that within minutes he desperately had to go to the bathroom. He politely raised his hand, asked permission, and hurried out of the room. After five minutes he returned, more desperate than before and said, “I can’t find it.” The teacher drew a little map and sent him off again. Five minutes later, he was back again. “I still can’t find it!” This time, the teacher sent Little Johnny with him. Ten minutes later, they returned. The teacher asked, “Well, Little Johnny? Did you find it?” Little Johnny replied, “Yep. He just had his underwear on backwards!”

wyldrob G Jokes

A very distinguished lady was

December 7th, 2005
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A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.
She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: “Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?”
“Of course my child, What can I do for you?”
“Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated vibrating hair remover for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?”
“Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I cannot lie.”
“You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions”, and she gave him the ‘hair remover’.
The aircraft arrived at its destination.
When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
“From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son”, he replied.
Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, “And from the sash down, what do you have?”
The priest replied, “I have there a marvelous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used.”
Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, “Go ahead Father. Next!”

wyldrob PG Jokes

A farmer finally decided to

December 7th, 2005
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A farmer finally decided to buy a televion set. The store assured him that they would install the antenna and TV the next day. The next evening the farmer turned on his new TV and found only political ads on every channel. The next morning he turned the TV on and found only political ads again. When he came in to eat lunch he tried the TV again but still only found political ads.
The next day when he still found only political ads he called the store to complain. The owner said that it was impossible for every channel to only have political ads, but agreed to send their repairman to check the TV.
When the TV repairman turned on the TV he found that the farmer was right. After looking at the TV for a while he went outside to check the antenna. In a few minutes he returned and told the farmer he had found the problem. The antenna had been installed on top of the windmill and grounded to the manure spreader.

wyldrob G Jokes