Archive for October, 2005

I went down to the

October 28th, 2005
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I went down to the local K-Mart where they were having a Blue Light Special on Home Cloning Kits.
The instructions? “Go fuck yourself.”

wyldrob R Jokes

The next time you’re having

October 28th, 2005
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The next time you’re having a bad day, imagine this:
You’re a Siamese twin.
Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay.
You’re not.
He has a date coming over today.
But you only have one ass.

wyldrob Adult Jokes

This guy walks into a

October 25th, 2005
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This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it’s a gay bar. “But what the heck,” he says, “I really want a drink.”
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, “What’s the name of your penis?”
The customer says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.”
The gay waiter says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called ‘Nike,’ for the slogan, ‘Just Do It.’ That guy down at the end of the bar calls his ‘Snickers,’ because ‘It really Satisfies.”
The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. The customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of your penis?”
The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.”
The thirsty customer asks, “Why Timex?”
The fella proudly replies, “Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin!”
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what do you call your penis?”
The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, “FORD, because ‘Quality is Job 1.’ ” Then he adds, “Have you driven a Ford, lately?”
Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, “The name of my penis is ‘Secret.’ Now give me my beer.”
The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, “Why secret?”
The customer says, “Because it’s STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!”

wyldrob Adult Jokes

A cowgirl married a cowboy.

October 24th, 2005
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A cowgirl married a cowboy. He was a man of the world, while she was an innocent with no experience. On their first night together, they got into bed and started exploring each other’s bodies. Things went fine until she asked, “Oh! What’s that?” He replied, “Well, darlin’, that’s ma rope.” She slid her hands a little farther down and gasped, “Oh, my! What’s that?” “Why, darlin’, them’s my knots.” Finally, they started making love, but after a few minutes, she cried, “Stop.” Her panting husband asked proudly, “What’s the matter, darlin’? Am I hurtin’ ya?” “No,” she replied, “I jes’ want cha to untie them knots. I need more rope!”

wyldrob R Jokes

After a long night of

October 22nd, 2005
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After a long night of making love, this guy rolls over, looks around, and notices a framed picture of another man on the nightstand by the bed. Naturally, the guy begins to worry.
“Is this your husband?” he inquires nervously.
“No, silly.” she replies, snuggling up to him.
“Your boyfriend then?” he asks.
“No, not at all,” she whispers, nibbling away at his ear.
“Is it your dad or your brother?” he asks, hoping to be reassured.
“No, no, no!!!” she says.
“Well who is he then?” demands the bewildered guy.
Calmly the girl replies, “That’s me before the surgery.”

wyldrob Adult Jokes

A guy walked into the

October 21st, 2005
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A guy walked into the bar looking like he’d been run over by a truck. His hair was matted, his face bloody and scratched, his clothes torn.
His friends bought him a beer, then asked, “What happened?”
The guy chugged the beer and said, “I was fighting for Joanne’s virginity.”
“No kidding?”
“Yeah. But that little bitch was determined to keep it.”

wyldrob Adult Jokes

A young boy asked his

October 19th, 2005
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A young boy asked his mother, “Ma, is it true that people are put together like machines? You know, with separate parts you put together?”
“Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?” replied his mother.
The young boy answered “The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary.”

wyldrob R Jokes

Customer Service Operator: “Hello. How

October 19th, 2005
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Customer Service Operator: “Hello. How may I help you?” Blonde: “Yes, I need Jack’s telephone number?” Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Who are you talking about?” Blonde: “Your User Guide clearly states on section 17, page 5, that I need to unplug my fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, what’s Jack’s phone number?”

wyldrob G Jokes

Orgy Gets Raided

October 12th, 2005

MOLNDAL, Sweden – Swedish police found a Norwegian woman entertaining her husband and seven other naked men when they raided a group sex party, a report said. Authorities said the couple advertised their planned orgy online and drew 480 responses. Fifteen people were chosen to attend the sex party at a Molndal, Sweden, hotel — paying $45 apiece. Police watched for 30 minutes and then arrested two participants on charges of purchasing sex, which the Swedish newspaper Expressen reported the first case of its kind in Sweden. Prosecutors said more people may be charged. Had the couple held the sex party in their home country, no charges would have been brought since buying sex is not against the law in Norway, the newspaper said.

wyldrob Weird News

Isn’t That Precious?

October 7th, 2005
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Two nicely-dressed ladies were chatting while waiting at the airport. One was an arrogant, wealthy, egotistical Californian. The other was a well-mannered Southern lady. The California woman said, “When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me.” The Southern lady replied, “Well, isn’t that precious.” The first woman continued, “When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.” Again, the other commented, “Well, isn’t that precious.” The first continued boasting, “Then when my third child was born, he bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.” Yet again, “Well, isn’t that precious.” The Californian asked, “What did your husband buy you when you had your first child?” “He sent me to charm school,” said the Southern lady. “Charm school? Oh, God! Why?” The Southern lady replied, “Well, for one thing, I learned to say, ‘Well, isn’t that precious’ instead of, ‘Who gives a shit?!’”

wyldrob PG Jokes