Archive

Archive for May, 2005

Vanity Plate Causes Trouble

May 27th, 2005

SEATTLE – The vanity plate of a black 2002 Audi may cause trouble for the driver of the car. The plate’s inscription, C9H13N, is the chemical compound for methamphetamine. This violates state law that bans license plates making reference to alcohol or illegal substances. The vehicle’s owner, whose name was not released, said that in his application for the plate that the letters and numbers represented red food coloring. However, the Chemistry Department at the University of Washington disagrees, saying the compound is not the common formula for red food coloring.

wyldrob Weird News

New Server

May 26th, 2005
:: Currently listening to: Breaking Benjamin – So Cold ::

Well by the time you are able to read this, I am hosting on a new server. I know it might have been a day or two since you’ve been able to connect. I should have changed my host file sooner at my registrar, but I didn’t get to it in time. As of right now the Jokes archive isn’t working. It will be another few days before I get all that back up. I am thankful that I have gotten this far. And I am also thankful for Jason’s help. Without him, I would have never gotten this far! I think I have a few quirks to work out, but I do think everything is up and running correctly. If you find any problems, let me know!

wyldrob personal

It Looked Like Junk to Them

May 24th, 2005

German firemen destroyed a teenage driver’s car after they mistook it for scrap and used it for practice.
The fire fighters spotted the teenager’s pride and joy parked alongside a scrap yard and they thought it had been dumped.
They set to with hydraulic scissors and axes to cut the roof and doors off to practice for freeing people from crashed cars. But the car had only been parked and not dumped next to the junk yard.
The 16-year-old driver had just bought the car after passing his driver’s test and was going to show it to his father who worked at the scrap yard.

wyldrob Weird News

Should Have Paid Cash

May 20th, 2005

MELBOURNE, Australia – I guess you have to be careful who you piss off. A dog club member who was mad after a fight with two women office-bearers took out newspaper ads with their phone numbers touting them as sex workers. One of the victims, a 72-year-old wheelchair-bound woman, had an ad announcing her as “Pauline, erotic fantasies are what I like. Home all day.” The come-on line for the other woman, 56, said “Sandy, bashful, bring your toys, a devil after midnight.” The two women were woken up by incessant phone calls which didn’t stop until the next week’s edition. Shirley Irene Wright, 52, was caught when it was discovered the ads were paid for using her bank card.

wyldrob Dumb Crooks

Incecticide Blows Up Apartment

May 20th, 2005

Bug problems didn’t stop one German man from enjoying a little web-surfing time. Walter Mueller decided to empty several cans of industrial-strength bug spray into his apartment before sitting down at his computer. As he surfed, an electrical spark from the PC ignited the lingering cloud of fumes, causing an explosion that completely demolished the apartment and several neighboring apartments. Amazingly, Mueller was not badly injured.

wyldrob Weird News

We Aim to Please

May 20th, 2005

Wal Mart aims to please everyone. They’ve just opened up a new store about 30 miles east of Cleveland, Ohio, in the small town of Middlefield. Home to numerous Amish families. In an effort to pull in the Amish crowd, the store has an expanded parking lot, which includes 37 hitching posts for horse-drawn buggies. They also stock block ice and a large fabric section.

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Getaway Vehicle Gives Them Away

May 20th, 2005

Word of advice for any would-be bank robbers out there: If you’re going to rob a bank in broad daylight, choose your getaway car wisely. This advice comes a little too late for Corey Houle and Lovie Lee Riddle Jr. The pair chose to rob the United Kingfield Bank in Corinth, Maine at around 11 am Monday. As Houle robbed the bank, Riddle slouched non-chalantly on the getaway vehicle nearby.
After successfully making off with an undisclosed amount of cash, Houle raced to the getaway vehicle, which just happened to be a PURPLE Ford Ranger with BOLD RED FLAMES and PINSTRIPES down each side. Needless to say, after many eyewitness accounts of the escape, the pair was caught about 2 hours later.

wyldrob Dumb Crooks

Chimp Art on Sale in London

May 18th, 2005

LONDON – Congo the chimpanzee led a brief artistic career and enjoyed little critical success, despite the patronage of his contemporary and fellow abstract painter, Pablo Picasso. But nearly half a century after Congo’s artistic career, some of his paintings are going on sale at a prestigious London auction house alongside works by Andy Warhol and Renoir.
Three tempera on paper works – brightly colored compositions of bold brushstrokes – will be featured as a single lot in the sale of Modern and Contemporary Art at Bonhams on June 20, the auctioneer said Wednesday. The lot estimate is between $1,130-$1,500.
Bonhams said it believed the auction is a first.
“I would sincerely doubt that chimpanzee art has ever been auctioned before,” said Howard Rutkowski, the auction house’s director of modern and contemporary art. “I don’t think anybody else has been crazy enough to do this. I’m sure other auction houses think this is completely mad.”
Congo, who was born in 1954, produced some 400 drawings and paintings between the ages of 2 and 4. It was not immediately known if he was still alive, a Bonhams spokeswoman said.
In 1957, animal behaviorist Desmond Morris organized an exhibition of chimpanzee art at London’s Institute of Contemporary Arts, including works by Congo. Critics reacted with a mixture of scorn and skepticism, but Picasso is recorded as having owned a painting by Congo, Bonhams said.
“Paintings by apes may be seen as humorous or as a derisive commentary on modern art,” the auction house said in its lot description. “However, Morris’ studies were a serious attempt to understand chimpanzees’ ability to create order and symmetry as well as to explore, at a more primeval level, the impetus behind our own desires for artistic creativity.”
Congo quickly learned how to handle a brush and pencils, instead of knocking them over or trying to eat them. He painted within the boundaries of the sheet of paper and never allowed the paint to spill over the edge. He also appeared to know when he had finished a painting: He refused to pick up his brush or pencil over the work.

wyldrob Weird News

DUI While on Horse

May 18th, 2005

SOMERSET, Ky. – A man has been charged with drunken driving — for riding a horse while allegedly intoxicated. Millard Greg Dwyer, 42, was arrested Sunday night after he rode his horse onto a downtown street in front of an off-duty state trooper, Somerset Police Lt. Allan Coomer said.
Trooper Martin Wesley told local officers that Dwyer looked like he was about to fall off the horse.
Coomer said Dwyer admitted to being drunk and told officers that he had ridden the horse from Fishing Creek, which was about 5 miles away.
Dwyer told officers that he had consumed about a twelve pack, Coomer said. Dwyer failed sobriety tests, Coomer said, and was charged with operating a vehicle other than a motor vehicle under the influence of intoxicants.
A breath test showed Dwyer’s alcohol level at .244, more than three times the limit, Coomer said.
Dwyer was released from the Pulaski County Dentention Center Monday, jail officials said. He faces a fine of between $20-$100, plus court costs, Coomer said.
Coomer said the arrest was “very unusual,” but Somerset police have arrested others for similar violations, such as riding a bicycle and a lawn mower under the influence.

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New Hot Sauce

May 18th, 2005

ATLANTA – Maybe hot sauce is the cure for cold feet. “Jennifer’s High Tailin’ Hot Sauce,” a nod to the saga of runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks, has sold briskly since its debut Wednesday.
“I’m in the hot sauce business and this is the hottest thing I’ve got right now,” said “Pappy” David Ryan, who runs Pappy’s Peppers in Lawrenceville, Ga. and says he’s sold 10 cases of the private-label sauce.
He’s not the only one cashing in: Herobuilders.com, a Danbury, Conn.-based manufacturer, has sold out of its first batch of 250 Runaway Bride action figures at $24.95 each.
The foot-tall figures feature a dark-haired woman in jogging pants with a colorful towel similar to the one Wilbanks wore over her head and a midriff-baring jogging shirt that says “Vegas Baby.”
Wilbanks items have also flooded eBay since a man auctioned off a slice of toast carved with a drawing of the runaway bride for $15,400. (The winning bidder has refused to pay.)
“It’s an unbelievably incredible story,” said Emil Vicale, who owns Herobuilders.com. “We had over a million hits in one day. That’s never happened before.”

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