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Archive for June, 2004

A man who says his

June 30th, 2004
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A man who says his doctors mangled his cancer treatments is suing for malpractice.
The patient says excessive radiation therapy actually welded his prostate and colon together. He’s suing for pain, suffering, and not knowing whether he’s coming or going.

wyldrob R Jokes

It’s my BIRTHDAY!

June 30th, 2004
::Currently listening to: Audioslave – Set it Off::

Yep, that’s correct, today is my birthday. I have not written in a while so I figured I’d give you suckers something to read for a change. I am not sure exactly how the evening will go. Jason and I are going out to eat, I’m pretty sure that Ricky and Millard are going to join us as well. I am thinking we might as well go to the Outback. I want to go there anyway, and it makes it easier to go to one place!
It hasn’t been too bad of a day so far. I had to work through the night, which means I am going to sleep most of the day away! Well, I will be up about 3 or 4 to get ready to go off. My mom already got on the computer this morning and wished me a Happy Birthday. She said she was singing it and Duchess was howling. Somehow, I don’t doubt that! LOL. She asked what I wanted and I told her that I wanted a DVD burner or a new hard drive. I should have told her that I wanted my truck fixed! I bet she would have liked that! Let’s see if she complies or not. She might just wind up giving me the cash, which is OK too.
I have a lot of stuff going on at work right now, but I really don’t want to get into it. I will try to write about it later. I know all of you (there are like two people who read this! LOL) are just dying to know what is going to happen come next week. Well let’s just say I will still be on 12-hour night shift come next week. However it will be rotatings days off. So I won’t be working 60 hours a week. More later –

wyldrob personal

I recently got a new

June 28th, 2004
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I recently got a new phone and it came with 3 way conference call capabilities. I wanted to speak to two of my friends at the same time but I just couldn’t figure out how to accomplish that. I called one of them and asked her how this three way thing worked.
She replied back with, “Well, you have one guy in your front, one guy in the back and the other guy in your mouth.”

wyldrob Adult Jokes

Two Arabs boarded a flight

June 28th, 2004
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Two Arabs boarded a flight and ended up sitting beside an American, who kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes, and settled in. Once the captain had turned off the seatbelt sign, the Arab in the window seat said, “I need to get out so I can get a beer.” “Me, too,” said the Arab in the middle seat. “Don’t get up,” said the American. “I’m in the aisle seat; I’ll get them for you.” As soon as he left, the Arabs quietly spat in the American’s shoes. The American returned, gave them their beers, and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the flight. But as the plane prepared for landing, the American slipped his feet back into his shoes and immediately knew what had happened. “Why does it have to be like this?” he mused out loud. “How long must this continue? This fighting? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes. This pissing in beers?”

wyldrob PG Jokes

The Meaning of Life

June 26th, 2004
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The Meaning of LIfe

On the first day God created the cow.
God said, “You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.” The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I’ll give back the other forty.”
And God agreed.
On the second day God created the dog.
God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten.”
So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey.
God said, “Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.” The monkey said, “How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”
And God agreed again.
On the forth day God created man.
God said, “Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I’ll give you twenty years.” Man said, “What? Only twenty years” No way man. Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God. “You’ve got a deal.”
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained.

wyldrob PG Jokes

A blonde, redhead, and brunette

June 26th, 2004
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A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew.
The brunette’s word was quizzical.
The redhead’s word was photosynthesis.
The blonde’s word was dick.

wyldrob Adult Jokes

Remember President Bush’s trip to

June 24th, 2004
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Remember President Bush’s trip to England a couple of months ago? Seems the Brits were a little upset with Dubya. In fact, in a speech the mayor of London described Bush as “the greatest threat to life on this planet.”
After hearing this President Bush said, “That’s ridiculous. What about Godzilla?”
– Conan O’Brien

wyldrob G Jokes

Simple Rules Gals Don’t Know

June 23rd, 2004
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Simple Rules Gals Don’t Know

1. Nothing says “I Love You,” quite like a blowjob in the morning.
2. He’s NEVER thinking about “The Relationship.”
3. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
4. Share the bathroom.
5. Share the closet.
6. Nothing says “I Love You,” quite like a blowjob in the morning.

wyldrob Adult Jokes

I went to the bar

June 23rd, 2004
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I went to the bar the other night and told the ‘keep, “A glass of your finest Less, please.”
“‘Less’? Never heard of it,” he said.
“C’mon, sure you have.”
“No, really, we don’t stock it. What is it? Some kind of foreign beer?”
“I’m not sure,” I replied. “It was my doctor who mentioned it. He said I should ‘drink Less.’”

wyldrob G Jokes

Little Johnny went to his

June 22nd, 2004
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Little Johnny went to his first school dance. He didn’t know if he would ever get up the nerve to ask a girl out to dance.
As the night went on everybody was dancing except Little Johnny. He just sat in the corner looking at everyone having fun.
Finally as the last song started to play Little Johnny spotted two very cute girls across the room sitting at their table. He walked over and asked one if she would like to dance. She looked him up and down and said “I am sorry but I am very particular with whom I dance with.”
Little Johnny shot back, “You can damn well see that I am not.”

wyldrob PG Jokes